Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Back to school

It's been a rough start to the week this week.  Back to school.  Ordinarily this type of thing is more than overdue.  Kids going stir crazy and needing their daily socialization with the youth of America and mom needing a glass (or two...) of wine to unwind after they finally get in bed.  Yeah.  Not so much this year because well...one child started 5th grade, and my baby started kindergarten.  Probably the last baby I'm ever going to have and I struggle daily with that.  My poor little one.  I've become that mom.  The one that wants to keep her youngest child a baby forever.  Well I understand that on a whole different level now because if I could, I totally would.  Seems like only yesterday I was waiting for her to come into the world.  Recently came across her hospital issued t-shirt that they put on her when she was so new...it's tiny.  So thankful that I kept it, that it survived the moves and everything, but at the same time it knocked my emotional teeter-totter completely off balance. Every milestone with her has been a sob fest for me, poor thing.  And my poor sweet husband who sees me laughing and smiling one minute and then turns around and I'm bawling the next.  Bless him for his patience.

To top things off with her going to school, we had to do the whole vaccinations thing and we had a horrible experience with that.  She had her shots and did okay, only cried a little bit.  But then about 15 minutes later she went unconscious.  Thankfully her daddy was still holding her or she could have been seriously hurt, and thankfully I forgot to get a doctor's note to excuse my absence from work and hers from preschool so I had to go back up to the waiting room to get one and we were still in close range to the doctors.  Within seconds they called a code on her, and at least 60 people swarmed us and had her on a stretcher and they were listening to her heart. She looked so small and so pale she was almost translucent.  Very scary.  I was basically a sobbing mess this whole time because no one would tell me what was happening, if they had overdosed her or if she was going to be okay or anything.  They pulled us back into a room and had her hooked up to machines and had her on full oxygen, did an EKG and in the middle of this, which lasted about 10-15 minutes, she came to.  She didn't panic, or cry she just reached out for me.  Broke my heart.  I didn't let her out of my sight for a good 2 weeks after that.  I was so scared she'd just collapse again.  But she hasn't. The doctors called it a vasovagal nerve response.  I had never heard of it, but have done a lot of reading about it and I am pretty certain that I'd be perfectly okay with her never getting another shot ever again.  Such a horrifying experience and thankfully she's fine,( though now has an overwhelming fear of needles) I certainly wouldn't wish it on any other parent!  So starting school just hasn't had a great vibe with me right from the beginning.

We went through with it, though.  She had her first day yesterday and we all made it.  With tears only from me.  She was great.  Said she had a great day and likes her teachers.  What a relief!  But doesn't make me miss her any less when she's away.   Look at the cuteness-

and though I did in large part, leave my eldest out of this particular post...she also started school yesterday- her LAST year in elementary school.  So here's her and her cuteness as well...

Being a mommy is hard!!! But such a joy when you get hugged by these people every day.

So for any other mom sending your little ones off to school for the first time, or for their very last first day, I salute you!  The next post will be a little more upbeat- ode to school supplies! And I DO have some more cards to share too.

1 comment:

  1. aw, they are adorable first day of school pictures. I always love seeing these. Have a glass of wine for me! You deserve it!

    And I have no idea how I'd handle the shot incident. That is so scary. I'm so glad that the doctors were able to help her and that Will was holding her when everything happened. Poor thing...


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