Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Mom Confession Monday

Yes, I know it's Wednesday.  This was supposed to go up on Monday...it's late.  I'm having a crazy week.  


Being a mom is hard work.  Being a military wife and mom is even harder work.  Not so much for the obvious reasons, though those definitely don't make things easy, but more so because I don't have a referee, or a sounding-board.  When I get really stressed out- i.e. to my patience breaking point, I don't have someone to step in and put me in an emotional time out.  Mommy confession #245- I need the occasional time out.  I lose my temper.  I yell.  I slam cabinet doors out of frustration.  

And then I feel terrible......

My kids are good kids.  They don't go around beating up other children or bullying.  They are well-liked, and well-adjusted little people.  Most of the time they use their manners.  They don't bite, or color on the walls- we did have an episode of wall Monet but it's long past now. I don't really have that much to complain about.  Not in the grand scheme of things, at least.  I think I need to make a sign to remind me because more and more these days I'm finding myself in that situation where I can feel emotional control slipping away.  

A little disclaimer here: I don't like to spank my kids.  That being said, if they do something that puts them in harms way after being told not to do it, I will do it.  When Hayley was 2, we were visiting a friend and all the kids were playing outside.  After repeated warnings of telling her not to go anywhere near the street, she took off at break-neck speed across the lawn toward the road, right at the moment a large van was coming flying around the corner.  I literally screamed like someone just shot me and she luckily froze dead in her tracks or she would without a doubt have gotten hit.  She got a spank for that.  And then a fierce hug.  Scared the living daylights out of me.  But we never had that problem again. Anyway... I digress.  Point being, I'm not a physical person in that way.  I use time out, I count to three, I send them to their rooms, I assign chores, but I don't spank them and my bark is worse than my bite, so to speak.  

The kicker, though, is that kids know how to press your buttons.  Big pet peeve of mine, for example, is having to repeat myself.  My kids know this.  Everyone who knows me knows this.  It's not that hard to listen to me the first time.  I should not have to say "please but your shoes in the shoe basket" 5 times before it gets accomplished.  My oldest LOVES to press that button.  Like a business person late for a meeting and the elevator isn't coming fast enough.  Pressing the button.  My self-soothing methods for dealing with this are sub-par.  I need a time out.  

I am sure I'm not alone in this.  I've talked to other mom's that have basically told the same story.  While it's in progress, though, I feel like the world's worst mom.  I'm sure we all do at some point.   Trying to be super woman all the time is overrated...right?  Well whatever.  I am flawed and have weaknesses and I'm not afraid to admit it.  

Sorry for the downer post, it's just been one of those weeks.  The kids are at each other quite a bit, my buttons are basically being held down on a daily basis, and the dog has decided that he prefers to use the living room instead of the backyard as his potty area.  Not cool.  If you have good methods of stress reduction, I'd love to hear them!


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